I've felt motivated lately to take school very seriously. I don't care about the grades, I care about the fact that I want to learn french, as much of as possible as fast as possible. Strange how when a motive becomes personal and shifts, the same action becomes so much more important. opposite of the over justification i learn about in psychology, which is when an artist who is intrinsically motivated to produce art purely for his own pleasure suddenly gets commissioned to paint which is the external motivation- the quality of his art lowers because the behavior becomes overly justified.
For our grammar class, Olivier gave us sentences to translate, a synthesis to write about a poem, and an essay on The Horla. The essay topic continued after the end of the Horla, when the narrator decides to kill the Horla by burning down his house with his servants, then realizing that the Horla can't die and therefore he must commit suicide. We had to write from the perspective of the Horla. I wrote that I sought thinkers and writers because in reflections which reside half in truth and half in lies, one can find gaps in between to infiltrate to possess them because thinkers weaken themselves by doubting their senses, by rethinking their speculations. I said, all thinkers have sleeping problems which linger on half sleep because their minds are always in transit, like an open door for the Horla to penetrate and feast on their lives. Towards the end I had so much time left because I always finish my exams quickly since I was little so I started being goofy. I wrote "Delicious! Mmmmm!!!!" about eating people's lives. Then I wrote some cute little idioms that I learned in the same professor's class last semester, random vocab like sleeping pill, making a fool of oneself to make him giggle. Ha. Then to conclude I said that it wasn't my fault the guy killed himself, what a pity. I'm going to search for another thinker, maybe a musician this time so I can consume his musical thoughts, or perhaps a painter, since it's been a while since I've had one of those. Yes, a painter- I forgot how much I liked them, Van Gogh cut off his ear for my little snack.
In my next class I had an oral presentation about my favorite restaurant. I talked about Mr. and Mrs. Bund in Shanghai, about how there's a credit card on every table that you take up to the wine machine with 32 different wines and charge it onto the card and above each wine you can choose to press the button for either a tasting, a half glass, or a full glass. I was supposed to describe the decor, the servers, the food. For the servers I said that they were impeccably put together in european suits and that their pants were very skinny, however I used the word that meant that I felt the texture and the cloth was thin. My teacher exclaimed "What? Maria? you drank some wine then you touched the pants of the servers???" I laughed so so hard and the whole class started laughing, one girl had to go outside. Then I said that the servers rolled out the cart with smoked salmon which they sliced in front of you, and I accidentally used the word for wheel barrow instead of cart. Again I died laughing. Then someone said that they lived in a cat and in a shower house. I died laughing again. Man I laugh a lot here.
Later Iris is coming over and we are going out out out
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